


Home Is Where The Heart Is

by Dean_hugs_Sammy



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Big Brother Dean, Episode: s01e11 Scarecrow, Gen, Guilty Dean, Hospitalization, Hurt Sam, Medical Procedures
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-29
Updated: 2014-12-29
Packaged: 2018-03-04 05:33:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2954132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dean_hugs_Sammy/pseuds/Dean_hugs_Sammy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Winchester brothers once again solved the case and rescued the girl - but did it come without a price?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Tag to 1x11 - Scarecrow.

"You done yet?" Dean shouted through the bathroom door and knocked on the wooden material a couple of times.

"Just a minute!" Sam shouted in return, studying the left side of his chest in the mirror with a frown on his face.

The run-in with the scarecrow in Indiana a couple of days earlier hadn't happened as smoothly and pain free as Sam had hoped. After the youngest brother had found Dean and Emily tied up in the woods, he had cut them loose and Dean had told him to look out for the scarecrow that could come alive at any second.

"What scarecrow?" Sam had asked and had looked confused around, not seeing a scarecrow anywhere – dead _or_ alive.

The brothers and Emily had then fled from the place while they kept looking around to see if the scarecrow was in sight.

"Is it gone?" Emily had asked.

"For now, I think." Dean had answered while scanning the area with his eyes. "But we still have to get rid of that scarecrow once and for all."

"No need to do it now though. We can find the tree tomorrow." Sam had said, not wanting to stay in the dark forest any longer than what was necessary.

"Why? You need to be somewhere?" Dean had asked with irritation in his voice and Sam figured his big brother was still pretty mad at him for leaving earlier.

"No, I just.." Sam started when Emily had suddenly screamed, snapping the brothers' attention away from each other to look for the source of danger.

"What?" Dean asked.

"There! It was right there!" Emily yelled and pointed into the darkness.

"What? The scarecrow?" Dean asked and Emily nodded while tears of panic welled up in her eyes.

"I swear it was right over there!" Emily cried.

"It's alright, I believe you." Dean soothed while continuing to scan the area with his eyes. "Sam?"

"Not seeing it anywhere." Sam said, inspecting the rows of dark trees as well. "Do you think that maybe…"

The younger brother was interrupted in the middle of his sentence when his shoulders were grabbed from behind and before he could as much as make a sound, he was suddenly airborne.

"Sam!" Dean shouted.

Sam got a short glimpse of the scarecrow who had flung him away, before his body hit the surface of a tree – knocking the air right out of him while he fell into a heap on the ground. Sam gasped for air and clutched the left side of his chest that had flared with pain after the impact with the tree, a small trickle of blood running down his forehead.

"Sam! Sam!" Dean called as he closed the gap between him and his brother and crouched down beside Sam before putting a hand on his shoulder. "Geez, you okay? Can you stand?"

The pain was still bad but Sam nodded nonetheless, groaned and winced when Dean pulled him back on his feet.

"We gotta move." Dean told his brother, dragging one of Sam's arms around his shoulders as he started leading them forward. "Before the scarecrow returns."

The brothers and Emily had continued their escape through the forest but had run right into a bunch of armed townspeople who had surrounded them. Things had started to look very dark until the scarecrow had showed up out of nowhere, killing Emily's uncle in the process and attacking the aunt as well. The rest of the townspeople had run away as the scarecrow had dragged the aunt and uncle with him – once again leaving Dean, Sam and Emily on their own. They'd succeeded in getting out of the woods without running into the scarecrow again and the following day they'd returned, had burned the tree and gotten rid of the scarecrow once and for all. The cut Sam had received on his forehead had been taken care of and had luckily not required any stitches – his chest had hurt but there hadn't even been any visible bruising so Sam had figured he had probably bruised a few ribs and that the pain would probably disappear within a few days… But it hadn't.

"Sam!" Dean called again and knocked on the bathroom door once more. "Today!"

"Alright!" Sam shouted and let his shirt fall back down. There still weren't any visible bruises on his body and even though the pain was still evident, Sam couldn't bring himself to tell Dean about it. The older brother had been pretty moody lately, and Sam didn't really dare to start complaining about a little pain. Besides, the pain would disappear on its own eventually.. right?

Sam unlocked the door, opened it up and looked at his older brother's annoyed expression as he walked out of the bathroom.

"What the hell took you so long?" Dean complained and pushed himself past Sam to go to the bathroom.

"I just.." Sam started but didn't get further than that before Dean had shut the door closed with a loud smack.

Sam stared at the closed door for a couple of seconds with furrowed brows. Despite the fact that Dean had seemed to have forgiven Sam for leaving before they'd left Indiana, he had still been acting pissed off ever since then and it was really starting to get on Sam's nerves. He _had_ apologized for leaving and Dean had accepted the apology without further ado, so what the hell was his problem?

**_ SPN _**

Dean's attitude didn't change over the next couple of days. He had ignored Sam whenever the younger brother had tried to start a conversation, he'd left alone to grab a beer at the bars they passed by – making it quite clear that Sam's company wasn't appreciated – and the only sounds to be heard on the road were the rumble of the Impala's engine and the tunes from the various classic rock songs that blasted out of the loudspeakers.

In the end, Sam couldn't stand the silent-treatment any longer. He had been feeling a bit under the weather for a couple of days – been feeling hot, out of breath, the pain in the left side of his chest still evident - and the tension between him and his older brother really didn't make him feel any better. The brothers had just checked into a motel room in a town in Maryland. Dean had entered the room first and as soon as Sam was inside as well, the younger Winchester brother slammed the door shut behind him. Dean twirled around and faced his brother - annoyance written all over his face while Sam glared in return.

"What the hell is your problem?" Dean demanded.

"What the hell is _my_ problem?" Sam asked, pointing at himself with an incredulous look on his face. "What the hell is _your_ problem? I'm not the one who's been pissed off ever since Indiana!"

"Oh, you gotta be kidding me." Dean said and shook his head while laughing humorlessly.

"Just tell me what the problem is, Dean." Sam said in a calmer tone. "Are you still pissed at me for walking away in Indiana?"

"We're _not_ having this conversation." Dean said with a shake of his head and turned around to walk towards the bathroom but Sam quickly cut off his way; putting a hand on Dean's shoulder to hold him back.

"Is that why?" He demanded to know. "Because I left back in Indiana?"

Dean didn't say anything and Sam sighed.

"Dean.." He started.

"Yeah, I'm mad at you for leaving!" Dean then said, cutting Sam off and roughly brushing the younger brother's hand off him.

"But I did apologize." Sam said.

"And I'm sick of your apologizes! You're _always_ walking away!" Dean shouted with anger written all over his face. "You turn your back on your family over and over, Sam – and I'm sick of it!"

"Dean.." Sam started.

"Flagstaff, Stanford." Dean rattled off. "And now _this._ It's like whenever I turn my back for a second, you run away! And honestly? Now I'm just waiting for you to do it again!"

Sam opened his mouth to protest but Dean cut him off once more.

"You know, I used to believe that the reason you ran away was to get away from dad." Dean yelled. "I never once believed that you would run away from me too. Until now."

Sam looked at Dean while the words his big brother had spoken made his stomach knot. Did Dean honestly believe that Sam had left to get away from _him_? From the one person that mattered more to him than anyone else?

"Yeah, that's what I thought." Dean said, taking Sam's silence as a confirmation of his suspicions and then tried to get past his younger brother.

"No Dean, that's not what I.." Sam began but as he wanted to stop Dean from moving by him once again, Dean surprised him by suddenly giving the youngest Winchester brother a hard shove in the chest.

Pain immediately spiked in his chest and Sam collapsed to the floor and gasped loudly while clutching his chest in a firm grasp. It felt like someone was tugging violently at his chest, making Sam gasp for breath while the pain continued to consume him.

"Sam?" Dean asked with confusion – the anger quickly replaced by worry as he watched his younger brother struggling to take a breath. "Sam, what.."

Dean crouched down next to Sam and reached a hand out to touch his brother but Sam flinched away.

"Don't.. touch me." Sam gasped, beads of sweat trickling out on his forehead as he kept clutching at his chest.

Dean slowly pulled his hand back though his instincts told him otherwise. But _he_ had been the one to push his brother in a moment of anger – to push _Sam_ who was now hurting because of it and if Sam didn't want Dean to touch him, the older brother really couldn't blame the kid for it.

"Are you.." Dean started.

"I'm _fine_!" Sam exclaimed and, to prove his point, he began to push himself up from the floor. Sam almost made it back on his feet but then his face turned pale and Dean barely managed to catch his younger brother under the armpits before Sam face-planted.

"Whoa! Sam!" Dean exclaimed and groaned as he dragged Sam the short distance to one of the motel beds before lowering him down to sit on the edge of it. "What's going on?"

Sam – still clutching at his chest – quickly realized that he couldn't keep hiding the truth for Dean and, despite the tension that had been between the two of them, the pain in the chest was scaring him and he really needed his big brother right now.

"My.. chest." Sam said, looking up at Dean when the older brother placed a soothing hand on his shoulder.

"What about it, Sam?" Dean demanded to know. "It hurts?"

Sam nodded and watched as Dean crouched down in front of him - reaching for Sam's shirt.

"Has been doing so since Indiana." Sam admitted in a low voice and Dean snapped his head up right away.

"What?" Dean asked. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"You were mad at me." Sam said, still in a low voice, and avoided eye contact with Dean. "And besides, I didn't think it was anything I couldn't handle; Thought I'd just bruised some ribs when the scarecrow threw me into a tree but it feels different somehow."

"Dammit, Sammy." Dean said before prying Sam's hand away from his chest and lifted up his brother's shirt to get a look at the damage, frowning when there were no visible signs of trauma.

Dean started probing Sam's chest and when he reached the left side, Sam hissed and flinched away; his face turning multiple shades of green.

"Easy, easy." Dean said and held his hands up. "I'm not gonna do that again, alright?"

Sam nodded, closed his eyes and swallowed hard to keep himself from throwing up.

"I'm pretty sure I felt a broken rib." Dean revealed.

The brothers had dealt with a lot of broken ribs in their lives and Sam normally handled the pain better than most people would have done. But this time was different. Dean _had_ shoved him in the chest and that had to have been painful with a broken rib. Still, Sam said that it felt different somehow and Dean now also noticed how awful his younger brother looked. Sam was pale but his cheeks were flushed which probably meant that he had a fever. Was something more serious going on than a broken rib? And if so, why hadn't Dean noticed sooner that his baby brother wasn't doing well?

"You say you've been hurting since Indiana?" Dean asked, feeling guilt building up inside of him.

"Yeah." Sam admitted.

Dean was about to ask his brother another question when Sam suddenly started coughing and covered his mouth with a hand. Dean's eyes widened when Sam's hand returned from his mouth covered in crimson.

"Dean." Sam said with panic clearly evident in his voice and looked at Dean with wide eyes as well.

"I'm taking you to the hospital." Dean said, got up from his crouching position in front of Sam and started moving Sam's arm around his shoulders to help him up.

"No hospital." Sam begged. He had always hated being examined by strangers, and the numerous hospital visits during the years had left him with more than enough experience in that area.

"Sam, you just coughed up blood." Dean said as he led Sam towards the door. "I'm not taking any chances here, alright?"

"But Dean.." Sam started when the older brother cut him off.

"I promise you it's gonna be fine, Sammy." Dean said and opened up the passenger side door of the Impala so that Sam could get inside and then rushed around to the other side to slide behind the wheel.

Sam was hunched over in the seat when Dean started the engine, once again clutching at his chest, and Dean's worry didn't get any less profound.

"Hey." Dean said, reaching out an arm to gently push Sam back to rest against the seat instead of being hunched over. "You holding up?"

Sam nodded but Dean needed a little more than that.

"Sam?" Dean asked while steering the Impala out of the motel parking lot.

"I'm good." Sam said even as he looked far from being okay.

"Just hang in there, alright?" Dean said. "We'll get you fixed up in no time."

"Okay." Sam said, clenching his eyes shut and breathing deeply through his nose to get through the pain.

Dean glanced at his brother for a moment before looking for any signs leading to a hospital – increasing the speed of the car while doing so.


	2. Chapter 2

As the brothers got closer to the hospital, Dean couldn't decide what was getting the upper hand of his inner conflicts; his worry about his little brother _or_ the guilt for being the one to set off whatever was going on inside Sam's chest. By the time they arrived outside the emergency room of the closest hospital, Sam had coughed up blood two more times and the amount of it kept getting bigger.

"As long as you don't cough up a lung, you're on the safe side." Dean had said, trying to lighten up the mood to sooth his younger brother – although Dean was panicking on the inside.

Sam hadn't looked amused by the comment but Dean did see Sam visibly relax a bit. It had been that way between the two of them ever since they were kids; if Dean remained calm, Sam would stay calm too, and this time was no exception.

Dean parked the Impala as close to the emergency room as possible, shut the engine off and stepped outside. As Dean walked around the car, Sam opened up the passenger door and groaned as he swung his legs outside; one hand still kept in place in front of his aching chest while he clenched his eyes shut for moment to prepare himself for the next task. When Sam opened his eyes back up, he found Dean holding out a hand in front of him in a silent offer that Sam gratefully accepted.

"Come on." Dean said, moved the arm Sam wasn't clutching to his chest around the older brother's shoulders and kept Sam propped up against his side as he began to lead them both towards the entrance doors of the ER.

Sam stayed disturbingly quiet on their walk inside which didn't ease Dean's worry one bit. The younger brother had kept protesting against the hospital visit on their way there, but the closer they'd got, the quieter Sam had become.

"How are you doing? You're not gonna faint on me, are you?" Dean asked.

" _Girls_.. faint." Sam said between short intakes of air.

"Exactly my point, Samantha." Dean said, usually always finding amusement in the bitch-faces his brother gave him. But this time he didn't find any satisfaction in it because there was nothing funny about this situation; Sam was hurting and it was all Dean's fault. If he'd just been able to control his temper and hadn't pushed the kid then maybe..

"Dean." Sam rasped out – tearing Dean out of his thoughts - and hunched over in a coughing fit that left stains of crimson on the pavement.

Dean quickly put a hand on Sam's abdomen to keep his brother from falling over, while his other hand rubbed back and forth on Sam's back.

"Easy. Easy, Sam. Just breathe." Dean told the younger brother as Sam made a gurgling sound in his throat, his fingers feverishly seeking comfort by Dean's denim-clad knee. "You're alright."

Dean was relieved when Sam finally stopped sounding like he was choking on his own blood but instead drew in big gulps of air.

"That's it." Dean encouraged as Sam's tense body began to relax a bit. "You good?"

Sam didn't yet trust his voice so he just nodded and slowly let go of the fabric of Dean's jeans while his brother helped him to straighten back up.

"Come on. Almost there." Dean said and led Sam the last bit of the way to the entrance doors before entering the ER. And then he wished he hadn't. Dean stopped up just inside the entrance doors, scanning the room with an annoyed frown line between his eyes. "You gotta be kidding me!"

Sam lifted his head a bit to peek out from under sweaty bangs and groaned when he saw the reason of his older brother's outburst. The ER was _packed_ to the bursting point with people – sick, injured, relatives, staff – and it was all one big chaotic mess. There were people marching back and forth, nurses hectically running around, kids crying, people complaining, and to make things worse – Dean noticed with regret – every single chair in the room was occupied.

"Great." Dean mumbled before he steered Sam through the chaos towards a somewhat vacant corner between a row of occupied seats and a water machine, and then lowered Sam down to sit on the floor with his back against the wall.

Sam hissed and held on to his chest with both hands as the action of getting into a sitting position tore at his aching chest. Dean frowned at the pale color on Sam's face and the cold and clammy skin he could feel as he crouched down in front of his brother and put his hand on Sam's neck.

"I'll find a doctor, okay?" Dean told his younger brother.

"People are staring." Sam said in a low voice and Dean looked over his shoulder to see several people looking in their direction. Some of them quickly looked away though as Dean pinned them with a hard glare.

"They're not looking at you – they're looking at me because I'm so smoking hot." Dean said and cheered on the inside when Sam's lip twitched a bit, before peeling off his leather jacket and wrapping it around Sam's shoulders. "I'll be right back."

Dean straightened back up and glanced at his brother once more – guilt once again tugging at his heart when he saw Sam wrap the leather jacket closer around him – before he squashed through the crowd of people to get to the nurses station.

"Excuse me." Dean said, trying to get one of the nurses' attention. "Hello? Hey! I need a doctor."

"Everyone here does, sugar." One of the nurses said without looking up at him.

"But this is important.." Dean insisted and read the nurse's name tag. ".. _Loretta_ – can I call you Loretta? My brother is hurt."

The nurse looked up at Dean from behind crescent-shaped glasses, unaffected by the charming smile Dean tried to give her, and slapped a chart down on the counter in front of him.

"Fill out these forms." She said.

"You're kidding, right?" Dean asked with a trying smile but Loretta didn't look impressed.

"I'm sorry sir but if you haven't noticed, we're swarmed today." She said. "Fill out the forms and we'll call your name when it's your turn."

"This is ridiculous." Dean complained.

"Yeah well, you can choose to deal with it or use another ER." Loretta said.

"How far to the next one?" Dean asked.

"About 70 miles." Loretta answered.

"70 miles?" Dean groaned and glanced in Sam's direction just as Sam coughed into a bandana. The older brother didn't miss the blood sticking to it when Sam removed the cloth from his mouth and sagged back against the wall. "My brother can't wait that long."

Loretta heard the concern in the voice of the young man in front of her and got up from her chair to peek in the direction he was looking. She screwed up her eyes a bit, letting her eyes pass some of the many people in the room until her eyes fell upon a young man who was sitting on the floor next to the water machine – a leather jacket wrapped around his shoulders and messy bangs hiding half of his face. Loretta looked between the brothers a few times. She had kids of her own and immediately recognized the look of a protective brother on the face of the young man before her station, and she quickly came to the conclusion that he was also the owner of the leather jacket. The knowledge tugged on her heart strings.

"That's your brother?" Loretta asked, nodding in Sam's direction. "Younger brother, I assume?"

"Yeah." Dean answered with a nod, a soft look settling on his face for a few seconds before his game-face returned. "And he needs to see a doctor."

"What's his name?" Loretta asked.

"Sam." Dean answered. "I think he has a broken rib and he has coughed up blood several times during the past hour."

Loretta sighed and let her eyes wander upon the many people in the room. Most of these people had been there for quite a while - hours even - and it wouldn't be fair to them to skip in line. Still, something told her that these brothers wouldn't have set a foot in her ER unless something quite serious was going on, and from the way the younger brother was clutching at his chest and trying to bury deeper into the leather jacket, Loretta guessed that the request for a doctor was valid enough.

"I'll see what I can do." Loretta said. "But I can't promise you there's a doctor available anytime soon."

"Thank you." Dean said with gratefulness. "I appreciate it."

"Don't forget to fill out the forms!" Loretta said and tapped the chart in front of her.

Dean picked up the chart and shot the nurse a quick smile before squashing himself back to his hurting brother. He sat down on the floor next to Sam, and Loretta smiled when she saw the younger man leaning a bit closer to his older brother. She then tore her eyes away from the brothers and left the nurses station to find out if there was any chance that the young man, Sam, could see a doctor anytime soon.

**_ SPN _**

Sam felt dizzy. The pain in his chest was getting more and more profound and he found it harder to take in a deep enough breath. Sam felt cold – despite Dean's jacket and the warmth from his older brother's side as Sam leaned against him. The worst part though was the blood that seemed to clot his throat every now and then, making him cough and choke, and Sam felt distressed every time that happened.

Dean was keeping calm though. Aside from asking how Sam was doing every now and then, the older Winchester brother rambled on and on about the many people in the ER room – letting Sam know why _he_ thought they needed ER assistance.

"You seeing that one over there?" Dean asked, nodded in the direction of a large man in the mid-fifties. "I bet he's here for a colonoscopy."

"Why.. do you even.. know what that is?" Sam asked between intakes of breath.

"Hey, I watch TV." Dean said. "Just because I watch movies and TV-shows, doesn't mean I'm not learning valuable information."

Sam snorted and followed Dean's look as the older brother nodded towards the next person.

"She's probably here to learn that she's been knocked up." Dean said and Sam rolled his eyes.

Despite his big brother's good efforts to keep him entertained, Sam had a hard time abstracting from the pain that kept consuming him though. And that wasn't the only thing bothering the youngest Winchester brother. Ever since the fight he had had with Dean back at the motel, Sam couldn't stop thinking about the words his brother had yelled at him.

_You're always walking away.._

_It's like whenever I turn my back, you run away.._

_I never once believed you would run away from me too. Until now.._

Sam swallowed hard against the emotion (and blood) that clotted his throat. He knew that Dean was only talking to him right now because he was hurt. But the fact was that Dean was still angry with Sam for leaving him back in Indiana – even if it had been to find their dad, and despite Sam's apology after he'd returned to rescue Emily and his brother from the scarecrow. But what made him feel worse was the fact that Dean believed Sam had left because he'd wanted to get away from the older brother. How could Dean even think that?

"Dean." Sam said, cutting his brother off in the middle of an explanation about why he thought the young couple a few seats away from them were there for a venereal disease check-up. "Look, I'm sorry.. about.."

"Don't go there, Sam." Dean sighed.

"But.." Sam started when Dean shook his head.

"I don't want to talk about it now." Dean said. "It can wait until you feel better, alright? Now where's that damn doctor?"

"But Dean." Sam said - not wanting to delay the conversation since he needed to let Dean know how he'd never once in his life wanted to run away from his older brother - when a new round of blood squeezed his throat shut, making Sam cough into the bloody bandana yet again.

"Easy." Dean soothed, rubbing a hand back and forth between Sam's shoulder blades and wincing when Sam sunk his fingers into Dean's thigh - but mostly wincing from the fact that his younger brother was hurting so much that he found it necessary to do so.

In his mind, Dean couldn't help but picturing over and over how he'd pushed Sam hard in the chest, watched as Sam had collapsed to the floor and had struggled to breathe from the pain in his chest.

"Dean." Sam whimpered ( _whimpered!)_ between coughs.

"Don't worry, Sammy. A doctor will see you soon." Dean promised and glanced in direction of the nurses station, worriedly swallowing as Loretta was nowhere to see. "I'll bet he'll call you a big drama queen and fix you up in no time."

Sam finally stopped coughing after a while and went slack against Dean's side. The older brother worried for a second that Sam had lost conscious but felt relieved when he realized that Sam's eyes were still open and aware. The younger brother looked exhausted though.

The minutes continued to tick by while the brothers waited for medical assistance. Dean impatiently drummed with his fingers on the floor and shot an annoyed look at the kid sitting on a chair next to him. The boy had been kicking at the leg of the chair continuously for the past fifteen minutes while singing the same two lines of a song over and over, and it was annoying the hell out of the oldest Winchester brother.

In the end, Dean's irritation over the boy - and the fact that Sam still hadn't seen a doctor - got the better of him, and he smacked his fist into the kid's chair with a "Cut it out!" Sam raised his eyebrows at his brother while the kid's mother shot Dean an angry look.

"What?" Dean challenged her.

"What's the matter with you?" She hissed. "He's only a kid."

"He's a pain-in-the-ass! That's right, I said it!" Dean snarled at her.

"Dean." Sam said. "Let it go."

Dean exchanged a glare with the kid's mother one last time, and then his attention was caught as he spotted Loretta by the nurses station again.

"Hang on, Sam. I'll be right back." Dean said before getting up from his position on the floor to have a word with the nurse.

As soon as Dean had left, Sam tried to move a bit as his muscles were getting sore from sitting in the same position too long, but the action jarred at his aching chest and Sam gasped while trying to breathe properly. But his lungs wouldn't cooperate. Sam shot a pleading look in his brother's direction, willing Dean to come back and do _something,_ anything.

"Loretta." Dean said as he stepped up to the nurses station once again. "Any luck?"

"As a matter of fact.." Loretta started when a loud noise startled them both.

Loretta looked past Dean to see that the water machine had been knocked over and was now leaking water all over the floor, at the same time as Dean spun around and immediately took off in a run while yelling his brother's name. Loretta gasped when she realized that the reason why the water machine had been knocked over, was because the younger brother had collapsed into the side of it.

"Sam! Sam!" Dean shouted and pushed the crowd of people that had gathered to peek at his brother away, before he skidded to a halt and kneeled down in front of his unresponsive brother.

"Sammy, come on." Dean begged and cupped Sam's cheek while gently shaking his younger brother's shoulder, dread filling his heart as he noticed the blood on Sam's chin.

"We need a gurney in here! _Now_!" Loretta shouted while Dean continued to try to wake up his lifeless little brother.

 


	3. Chapter 3

Sam was choking. That was the first thing he became aware of when he started to leave the peaceful darkness that had been consuming him - that had kept him pain free and careless. But Sam could feel it now; a pain in his chest as if something heavy was pinning him down, clawing at him.

Then there were unfamiliar voices – words being spoken but which he couldn't make any sense of – and hands touching him. What was happening? Who were these people? Sam's heart hammered wildly as panic took over - a metallic taste spreading inside his mouth while Sam felt like he was drowning. He tried to fight the hands pinning him down, wanted to scream at them to leave him the f*ck alone, but all that came out of his mouth was a gurgling sound.

"Stop!" A voice suddenly growled above all the other voices – a voice that pierced through the darkness.

_That voice.._

"I don't care what you're doing! You're scaring him!"

_Sam knew that voice._

"Sam? Sammy?"

_Only one person said his name that way._

"Come on, dude. You hearing me?" The voice asked.

Images started to flash before Sam's closed eyes - like a montage of old slide pictures flipping by; _a shiny black car, little green army men, an amulet on a leather cord, mixed tapes with classic rock music, a piece of pie, a leather jacket.._

"Sammy?"

_Safety.. Protectiveness.. Comfort.. Love.._

"Calm down."

_Dean._

Sam's eyelashes fluttered as he fought to open his eyes - Dean's name caught in his throat as he tried to call for his big brother; a gurgling noise the only sound leaving him. Sam couldn't breathe! He couldn't breathe!

"Sam!" Dean called and this time Sam's eyes popped open.

**_ SPN _**

Dean hadn't left Sam's side from the moment he'd found his little brother passed out in the waiting room of the ER - despite the protests from the orderlies that wheeled Sam to a vacant examination room. The older Winchester brother was horrified to witness the blood that was still trickling from Sam's mouth, dripping down his chin and jaw, and decorating Sam's shirt in a red color. Sam was too pale and too still for Dean's liking, and the older brother was ready to throw punches if a doctor didn't show up soon.

"Sir, you really can't be in here." One of the orderlies tried to tell him again but silenced when Dean glared at him with murder in his eyes.

No one told Dean Winchester what to do when it came to taking care of Sam - _no one,_ not even John Winchester himself. Speaking of John, Dean wondered if he should give his father a call to let him know that Sam was at the hospital and that the situation could turn out to be really bad. But would their dad show up or at least answer this time? Dean had called him several times since the older hunter had gone missing, but it wasn't until the morning before the hunt in Indiana that they'd actually heard anything from the man – the phone call that had managed to set off this whole mess. If their dad hadn't called then they wouldn't have been in Indiana, Sam wouldn't have gotten hurt, the brothers wouldn't have been arguing and Dean wouldn't have been so mad that he'd pushed the kid and.. _No._ Dean couldn't blame his dad for this one. They'd stopped the scarecrow and saved innocent lives, and if anyone was to blame for this situation – it was Dean. He should have paid more attention in the woods so that Sam hadn't got hurt, he should have noticed that Sam had been injured, and he shouldn't have pushed his brother when Sam had tried to reach out to him. Hell, he shouldn't have driven away from Sam after their argument in Indiana in the first place!

"I'll find a doctor!" Loretta promised and hurried out of the room while the orderlies placed an oxygen mask over Sam's mouth and nose, and got him hooked up to heart monitor.

When a male nurse started pricking a needle into the younger brother's arm to attach an IV-line, Sam suddenly made the first signs of waking up. The first thing he did was to make a choking sound in his throat, and Dean winced when he saw stains of crimson spatter the inside of the oxygen mask.

"Hold him still while I finish this." The male nurse told the orderlies while trying to insert an IV-line in Sam's arm that had started moving a bit as well – another sign indicating that Sam was fighting his way back to consciousness.

"Don't hold him down." Dean warned the orderlies. Sam was a Winchester and Winchesters didn't do well with being restrained in any circumstances – conscious or not.

The orderlies ignored the older brother, however, which was a big mistake because - as Dean had predicted – Sam soon started fighting the hands pinning him down. The youngest brother's heart rate picked up considerably, and he made these horrible sounds in his throat as if someone was trying to drown him.

"Stop!" Dean growled and pushed one of the orderlies away from Sam. Seeing his brother in so much distress had ignited the protectiveness Dean had always felt when it came to his younger brother; whether it was orderlies, bullies, strangers or even frigging _clowns_ causing Sam distress, Dean would always be there to protect him.

"What are you doing? We're trying to help your brother!" The nurse told Dean before turning to one of the orderlies. "Get him out of here."

"I don't care what you're doing!" Dean shouted and shook off the orderly that was trying to steer him out of the room. "You're scaring him!"

Dean pushed the second orderly and the nurse away from Sam as well, before he cupped Sam's neck in his hands.

"Sam?" Dean called, noticing with proud how Sam's thrashing ceased a bit by the sound of his big brother's voice. "Sammy? Come on, dude. You hearing me?"

The two orderlies grabbed Dean's shoulders from behind but before the young hunter could knock them both to the ground; Loretta showed up again and started shouting at the staff.

"You let go of that boy right now!" Loretta shouted with both hands on her hips.

"But we're.." The nurse started when Loretta cut him off.

"One more word from you, Eric, and I'm gonna have a talk with your momma." Loretta threatened. "Can't you tell he's only doing what's best for his brother?"

Dean sent Loretta a thankful thought and blocked out any further conversation between the hospital staff while he continued to focus on Sam.

"Sammy?"

Sam's eyelids fluttered and Dean smiled a little, knowing that Sam was trying to reach him as well. But that smile soon faded as Sam once again made those terrible sounds – a new round of blood spattering the inside of the oxygen mask. The heart monitor began blaring and the younger brother started thrashing again.

"Calm down." Dean said. "Sam!"

Sam's eyes suddenly popped open – wide and filled with panic and pain as they looked frantically around, searching for something – all the while he struggled to breathe in air.

"Sammy." Dean said and Sam's eyes finally found the older brother's eyes. "Breathe through your nose. Just breathe, okay?"

Sam opened his mouth to speak but all that came out was more gurgling and more coughing up of blood.

"Don't try to speak." Dean urged. "Just relax and focus on breathing, okay? I've got you."

Sam did just that, and Dean was so incredible grateful for the fact that – despite their differences in opinions at times – Sam still listened to his older brother when it mattered the most.

"You fainted in the waiting room." Dean said and smirked a bit when Sam shot him a weak glare. "Alright alright; _passed out_ in the waiting room _._ There's an oxygen mask on your mouth and nose helping you breathe - so leave it, Sam, I mean it! The doctor will see you in a minute. You good?"

Sam nodded slightly and weakly opened and closed his right hand a couple of times, until Dean grabbed it and gave it a gentle squeeze.

Loretta watched the interaction between the boys with emotion in her chest and a hand held above her heart. She had been right about those two, and now she felt like she needed to watch over them as a momma bear watches over her young ones. The older brother carded a hand through the younger one's sweaty bangs and spoke to him with a tenderness that Loretta wouldn't have guessed the young man possessed when she had first spoken to him by the nurses station.

"Alright, what've we got?" The doctor asked as he finally stepped into the room.

"About frigging time!" Dean complained and eyed the doctor warily as he walked closer to Sam's bedside.

"I'm sorry sir, busy day." The doctor informed before taking a look at Sam. "You were the one that brought him in?"

"Yeah, I'm his brother." Dean announced.

"Dr. Kendall." The doctor introduced himself and shook Dean's hand. "So what happened?"

"Well, Sam took a fall when we went hiking some days ago." Dean explained. "He hurt his ribs in the left side of his chest but it wasn't until today that he suddenly started coughing up blood."

Dean didn't mention the fact that Sam had also received a hard shove to the chest that had caused the trip to the ER in the first place. He just shot Sam a brief guilt-ridden look before looking at the doctor again.

"Alright. Sam, I'm just gonna have a little look at your chest." The doctor told the youngest Winchester brother and Sam nodded shortly – although he didn't look happy with what was about to come.

Dr. Kendall lifted Sam's shirt up and inspected his chest for a few moments before he probed the left side of Sam's chest with his fingers. Sam gasped and tried to wiggle away from the doctor while coughing up more blood. The doctor luckily removed his fingers and then used his stethoscope on Sam's chest, and while Dean caressed the back of Sam's hand with a thumb in an attempt to sooth his younger brother, the doctor measured Sam's blood pressure and wrote the numbers down in a chart before turning to the two remaining staff members in the room – Loretta and an orderly named Diego.

"Order a CT-scan. And I want him started on fluids and blood transfusions right away." Dr. Kendall told the orderly before turning his attention back to the Winchester brothers. "I'll know more after the CT-scan."

"Thanks doctor." Dean said before both the orderly and the doctor left the room. Loretta, however, lingered a bit in the doorway.

"Call me if you need anything." Loretta said.

"We will." Dean assured her before she too left the room, and Dean then looked at Sam again who looked back at the older brother with a worried look. "Relax princess. Just be glad the doctor didn't make fun of you for fainting like a girl."

Sam shot Dean another glare and Dean smirked in return.

**_ SPN _**

Exhaustion and pain remedies had taken over and Sam was asleep by the time the doctor returned with the result of the CT-scan.

"Mr. Young, your brother has two bruised ribs and one broken." Dr. Kendall told Dean.

"Okay, that's not too bad." Dean commented.

"Under normal circumstances, no." Dr. Kendall said. "But Sam's broken rib has unfortunately caused damage inside the left side of his chest. You see, your brother is suffering from what we in medical terms call Hemopneumothorax."

"Which means?" Dean asked, feeling his heart beat faster as the doctor continued to speak.

"This is an x-ray picture of Sam's chest." The doctor said and put the x-ray picture on a light board on the wall. "As you can see here, Sam's broken rib has punctured his chest wall which has caused both air and blood to enter the chest cavity."

"Okay.. And how do you plan on fixing my brother?" Dean wanted to know.

"Well, in most cases we simply insert a chest tube to drain the blood and air." Dr. Kendall said. "But your brother needs surgery right away."

"What? Surgery? Why?" Dean asked, his concern immediately spiking as he stared wide-eyed at the doctor.

"We're dealing with severe internal bleeding in Sam's case. We need to stop the bleeding and close off the injury made by the broken rib." The doctor explained. "I'll send someone in to prep Sam for surgery in a minute. Don't worry, your brother is in good hands."

The doctor left the room and Dean plumped into a chair next to Sam's bed before washing his hands down his face. He then put a hand on Sam's arm and watched the unsteady rise and fall of Sam's chest as the younger hunter continued to sleep; the oxygen mask fogging with every breath Sam let out.

"I'm so sorry, Sammy. This is all my fault." Dean said. "But you stay with me, you hear me? No passing away during surgery, okay? Or I'll personally kick your ass from here to beyond! You understand me?"

Sam shifted his head a bit in the direction of Dean's voice and the older brother smiled weakly. Sam was a Winchester and he would pull through.. He would pull through and then they were gonna leave the hospital and this whole mess behind. Sam would survive. He frigging _had_ to.


	4. Chapter 4

Dean was mad. No, that was actually an understatement - Dean was downright _furious_! He'd hoped that Sam would have either remained oblivious to the fact that he had been about to go through surgery _or_ that the older brother would at least have been able to explain the situation to Sam. But no; that goddamn _idiot_ anesthesia doctor had not only woken Sam up but had also _told_ Sam that he was about to have surgery! Sam – the sweet, sensitive kid that he had always been – had of course panicked, and Dean had spent what little was left of Sam's awareness (before anesthesia pulled him under) assuring his little brother that everything would be okay, that he would be by Sam's side throughout it all. Of course that hadn't been possible since Dean wasn't allowed in the operation room, so the oldest Winchester brother had been pacing back and forth in the waiting room ever since they'd wheeled Sam away – anxiously waiting for news about his younger brother.

The waiting room had luckily started to become more and more vacant, but Dean still recognized some of them as the same people that had been present when the Winchester brothers had first arrived in the ER. A couple of them sent stolen looks towards the fuming older brother as he stomped back and forth, alternating between glancing at his clock and asking for info at the nurses station, but no one in the room dared to stare at him for long.

Besides being angry at the anesthesia doctor, Dean was angry with his dad as well. He'd called the man earlier to let him in on the situation – getting the older hunter's answering machine as always - and he had emphasized that Sam was so badly injured that it had even required surgery. But John Winchester hadn't returned the call. Nor had he given Dean even the slightest sign of having acknowledged the call at all. Dean didn't understand; why wasn't his father rushing to the hospital this very second to be there for Sam? Just for _once_ in his life? This wasn't a soccer match, a parent-teacher meeting or a graduation ceremony – this was Sam's _life_ on the line for God's sake! Dean knew that his dad and little brother had had their differences, that they'd butted heads more times than Dean could remember, and that the last time the two of them had faced each other, it had resulted in a bad fight which had ended with Sam leaving for Stanford. But John Winchester was always there when it really mattered.. so where was he now?

Some laughter coming from a row of seats nearby caught Dean's attention and tore him out of his thoughts about his dad and baby brother. Two teenagers were entertained by something one of them was showing the other one on his cell phone - while loudly commenting on it while doing so.

"Look, look! He's choking! And here comes the blood!" The teenager with the phone said with a grin on his face and the other teen eagerly watched whatever was going on, on the cell phone screen.

"Looks like he's having a little trouble breathing with the blood he's coughing up." The other teen remarked and Dean stopped his pacing since the comments were starting to sound unnervingly familiar. "Oh man, he's so gonna go down!"

"In three, two, one.." The guy with the phone counted down before both teenagers roared with laughter. "Water all over the place! Poor sucker!"

"Hey!"

The teenagers startled by the sudden exclamation and appearance of the guy in front of them before exchanging confused looks with each other.

"Let me see that." Dean said, waving a hand towards the phone the teen was still holding on to.

"Eh.." The teenager began, obviously hesitant and confused as to why the guy who had been walking back and forth in the waiting room with angry steps suddenly wanted to see the video on his cell phone.

Dean – having no patience whatsoever – snapped the phone from the teenager in one quick motion and pushed the 'play' button to see the recorded video.

"Hey!" The teenager exclaimed.

"You have no right to.." The other teenager started but both of them silenced when Dean shot them a glare that could have made even the mighty John Winchester think twice before opening his mouth again.

Dean's heart dropped to his stomach when his suspicions about the video was confirmed – it was indeed a video showing how Sam had struggled to breathe, had tried to get up from the floor in a desperate attempt to get to his older brother but had failed miserably as his eyes had rolled back in his head and Sam had collapsed into the side of the water machine.

"You think this is funny?" Dean asked in a cold voice, the teenagers writhing under the hard look the older Winchester brother was pinning them with. "You think watching my _brother_ choking on his own blood is funny?"

Both teenagers paled at the same time, neither one of them daring to answer the question.

"I should kick the crap out of both of you!" Dean threatened in a low and dangerous voice. Teenagers or not; no one was allowed to make fun of Sam – except for Dean himself – and especially not about such a serious matter. Sam was going through frigging surgery right now and these guys were turning it all into a big joke?

"Look dude, I swear we didn't know it was your brother." One of the teenagers said and held up his hands in defense.

Dean rolled his eyes and was about to teach these boys a lesson on what happens when you mess with Dean Winchester's little brother, but he was interrupted when Loretta waved at him from the nurses station.

_Sam. It had to be news about Sam._

"Consider yourself lucky." Dean said to the teenagers, deleted the video with Sam from the phone and dropped the phone into a Styrofoam cup of coffee on a little table nearby – smirking on the inside as the teenagers desperately tried to save the sinking phone from the hot coffee – and rushed to the nurses station.

Loretta raised an eyebrow at the commotion Dean had left behind but let it go as she faced the worried big brother.

"Sam?" Dean asked.

"Out of surgery." Loretta confirmed with a smile, feeling so happy for being able to bring some good news for once.

"How is he? He alright? Can I see him?" Dean rattled away and Loretta held up a hand to stop Dean for asking any further questions.

"Sam's in the ICU." Loretta said. "I'll show you to his room."

"The ICU?" Dean asked with concern as he followed Loretta down the corridors. "Isn't that for patients needing critical care?"

"The doctor will let you in on all the details." Loretta assured him but that wasn't enough for Dean.

"Loretta, please. I'm begging you." Dean said, stopping up in the middle of the hospital corridor and looking at the nurse with big green eyes. "I need to know. Please."

Loretta sighed and saw not only a worried big brother in the eyes of the young man in front of her but also a scared kid. How old was this Dean anyway? And his brother? The thought tore at her maternal instincts.

"Look, I don't know much more than you do." The nurse said. "All I know is that Sam's surgery went well but that he isn't out of the woods yet. The doctor will explain it all to you."

Dean nodded and swallowed nervously before allowing Loretta to lead him the last bit of way to Sam's room in the ICU.

**_ SPN _**

Dean drew circles on Sam's palm with a thumb as he sat by his younger brother's bedside – keeping an eye on the monitors attached to Sam's body while waiting for his little brother to wake up. The oxygen mask covering Sam's mouth and nose was fogging with every breath Sam let out – after every breath the ventilation machine helped him take in. The doctor had told the oldest Winchester brother that they'd managed to close off the injury that had been made by the broken rib which had stopped the bleeding inside Sam's chest, but Sam's oxygen levels were still low and the younger brother needed respiratory therapy to assist his lungs for now. The doctor couldn't tell when Sam would be able to breathe entirely on his own again – especially not since Sam was showing signs of developing pneumonia which wasn't exactly what the younger Winchester brother needed at this point.

Dean brushed Sam's bangs out of his brother's eyes and sighed when he felt the warmth on Sam's forehead that indicated an increasing fever. The older brother was glad that the doctor had at least removed the tube from Sam's throat and had replaced it with the facial oxygen mask instead. Sam would have freaked out if he'd woken up to a tube sticking out of his mouth and – despite the fact that Dean once in a while wished his brother would just shut up – this way Sam would be able to use his voice, and Dean was really longing to hear that voice right now.

The older brother glanced at his watch and washed a hand down his face. It was way past visiting hours but Loretta had pulled a few strings and had allowed Dean to stay by his brother's side. Not that anyone could have prevented Dean from staying anyways – not when Sam needed him.

_You're a selfish bastard, you know that? You just do whatever you want. Don't care what anybody thinks._

Dean frowned as he recalled the fight he'd had with Sam in Indiana. He'd meant what he'd told his younger brother; that Sam was being selfish for always walking away from his family to do what _he_ wanted to do. But Sam had come back to save Dean the moment he couldn't get in touch with his older brother and he _had_ apologized for leaving in the first place.. so why was it so hard for Dean to forgive and forget?

_You and me - we're all that's left. So, if we're gonna see this through, we're gonna do it together._

Those words from Sam had meant the world to the older Winchester brother and even though he'd held on to those words when they'd left Indiana, the fact that Sam had left him in the first place had come back to haunt him. In the end, that had overshadowed everything else and Dean had felt hurt and disappointed in his brother. Dean could clearly understand why Sam had been confused as to why Dean had suddenly been pissed at him since Dean had accepted the younger brother's apology at first, but Dean just couldn't let go of the fact that Sam – of all people - had chosen to walk out of him as well.

"For such a brilliant guy, you can be quite a dumbass sometimes, Sammy." Dean said with no heat behind the words and continued to draw circles on Sam's palm with his thumb.

None of it mattered right now though; Sam was injured and Dean was gonna take care of the kid – not distress him by any means. They could discuss their issues some other time when Sam was back on his feet and breathing properly on his own again. Until then, Dean wouldn't let his brother out of his sight. He just wished Sam would wake up soon though. The wait was starting to get long.

"I am Sam. I am Sam, Sam I am." Dean suddenly started reciting as an old childhood memory popped into his head. "That Sam-I-am, that Sam-I-am, I do not like that Sam-I-am. Do you like green eggs and ham?"

Sam had loved that children book when they'd been kids – a birthday gift from Bobby that Sam had received when the brothers had been left in the older hunter's care on Sam's fifth birthday. Dean remembered how miserable Sam had been that day since their father had been away on a hunt and hadn't been able to be there on Sam's birthday.

"Dean, does Daddy hate me?" Sam had asked his big brother with big teary eyes that had broken Dean's heart right on the spot and which still made his heart ache now so many years later.

"Of course he doesn't, Sammy. Dad loves you, okay?" Dean had answered. "Why would you even think that he hates you?"

"He's always away." Sam had pouted. "Even today."

"Well that's only because he has to. But I'm not going anywhere, okay? I'll stay with you always." Dean had promised and had never once broken that promise. Even when Sam had been away at Stanford, Dean had been close as often as possible without Sam ever knowing – just to make sure the kid was doing alright.

Bobby had given Sam the book "Green Eggs and Ham" and the youngest brother had made Dean read it over and over and over until Dean could remember the words without even opening the book. When Sam had woken up after a particular bad nightmare, Dean had sometimes recited the words from the old children's book to sooth his brother and it had always managed to calm Sam.

"I do not like them, Sam-I-am. I do not like green eggs and ham." Dean continued – wasn't sure whether he did it to sooth Sam or _himself_ for that matter.

He'd just reached the last part – " _I do so like green eggs and ham! Thank you! Thank you, Sam-I-am_ " – when he felt fingers gently curling around his hand. Dean looked down at Sam's face and noticed a pair of groggy, green eyes staring back at him.

Sam was awake.


	5. Chapter 5

The furrows on Dean's - before so worried and brooding - face smoothened out and slowly morphed into a relieved smile by the sight of his little brother's opened eyes. He could tell by the look in Sam's eyes though that the younger brother was still far away, but Dean would take any kind of awareness from Sam right then.

"Sammy." Dean said in a soft voice, using the hand, that wasn't currently being held on to by Sam's fingers, to gently brush Sam's sweaty bangs out of the younger brother's eyes – causing Sam to briefly close his eyes again as if embracing Dean's gentle touch.

"Sammy." Dean repeated.

Sam blinked drowsily up at his older brother, looking exactly like he'd done when he'd been a toddler and had just woken up from a nap. His expression soon turned confused which proceeded to distressed as he became aware of the oxygen mask covering his mouth and nose.

"We're at the hospital." Dean explained while preventing Sam from removing the oxygen mask by grabbing Sam's wrist as the younger brother tried to lift his hand. "Your broken rib caused a little bit of trouble but you're okay now – just need a little time to get back on your feet again, okay?"

Dean knew he was sugar-coating the situation a bit, but Sam didn't need the worry – he needed to focus on getting better. Besides, Sam was only half-aware at this point anyway; he still looked confused but accepted Dean's words before slowly nodding. Dean smiled.

"Good." Dean praised. "The oxygen mask is there to help you so leave it alone."

The older brother then thought it was safe to let go of Sam's wrist and he moved back a little to reclaim possession of the chair next to Sam's bedside, but that only made the youngest Winchester grasp Dean's hand tighter.

"Relax princess, I'm not going anywhere." Dean said but Sam didn't let go.

"Dean.." He rasped out instead, his voice only a hoarse whisper but still loud enough for Dean to hear.

"Yeah, Sammy?" Dean asked, his heart beating a little faster when Sam's eyes suddenly became misty with unshed tears. Was Sam in pain? Was the morphine wearing out? Was the ventilation machine not doing its job properly?

Dean's finger lingered by the call-button as he waited for Sam to continue – not liking Sam's still decreasing fever _or_ the tears he could spot in Sam's eyes. The developing pneumonia sure as hell wasn't his little brother's best friend right now.

"You're mad." Sam said in a low and hoarse voice that was muffled by the oxygen mask.

"What are you talking about?" Dean wanted to know. "I'm not mad."

"Scarecrow.." Sam said, looking at his older brother with tearful eyes – glassy with fever too and pupils blown wide from the pain medication.

Dean sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose as he realized exactly _why_ his little brother was bringing this subject up now.

"This is gonna be fun." He mumbled.

Whenever Sam was either drunk (which happened on rare occasions), fever-delirious (which happened every now and then) or hurt and drugged on pain medication (which happened far too often), the kid ended up doing one of two things; Sam was either pretty goofy which always gave Dean a good laugh and plenty of ammo to use against his younger brother at a later time - _or_ Sam wasgetting so emotional that he would start pouring his heart out; telling whoever happened to be around about his feelings and whatever was on his mind. This time, unfortunately, it seemed to be the latter and Dean hated when Sam got like this. Besides the fact that he didn't like to see his brother upset in any kind of way, it also always felt like he was invading Sam's privacy – especially since Dean was never able to walk away because he simply couldn't leave Sam alone when his brother was this vulnerable.

"You're like.. like.. dad-mad." Sam said before coughing and Dean was relieved when no spatter of blood decorated the inside of the oxygen mask this time around.

"That's fine, Sam." Dean said, once again preventing his brother from fidgeting with the oxygen mask.

"The stuff you said.. just like dad." Sam continued while Dean secured Sam's arms underneath the covers of the bed. "Right before Stanford."

"Sam we'll talk about this when the morphine isn't doing all the talk, alright?" Dean said – his tone sharp but his look soft - as he wiped some drops of sweat off the side of Sam's face with his sleeve. "Get some rest."

Dean sat back down on the chair and watched as Sam fought to keep his eyes open. Desperate times called for desperate measures so Dean once again started drawing circles on Sam's palm with his thumb – a calming gesture that soon made Sam's eyelids slide closed.

"Don't be like dad, Dean. Please." Sam mumbled before his breath finally evened out in sleep.

Dean continued to draw circles on his little brother's palm while studying Sam's pale but fever-flushed face as Sam's words twirled around in his head. Had Sam compared Dean to their dad when they'd been fighting _about_ John back in Indiana?

" _I don't understand the blind faith you have in the man. I mean, it's like you don't even question him."_

" _Yeah, it's called being a good son!_ "

Dean winced a little as he recalled his own words. He'd been angry and words were always more harsh when they were spoken out of anger – they were meant to hurt.. and they had. Sam had left the car right after that; hurt and angry.

Truth was that Sam had never been a bad son; he was the kind of son any normal parent would be proud of. But John Winchester wasn't a normal father and the things their father thought was most important in life hadn't been top priority in Sam's mind - which was what had come to a head when Sam had told their dad about his Stanford scholarship. Dean remembered that fight like had it been yesterday because it had been such a bad one.

" _You're a selfish bastard, you know that? You just do whatever you want. Don't care what anybody thinks_."

" _That's what you really think?_ "

" _Yes, it is._ "

Dean _had_ sounded like their dad. A lot actually. And even though Dean knew that John _was_ indeed proud of Sam, the only thing his younger brother could focus on was the words their father had spoken the last time they'd all been together; " _You walk out that door, don't you ever come back._ "

Dean washed a hand down his face and let out a frustrated sigh. Sometimes he wanted to smack the kid _and_ their father for being so hard-headed. Sam made choices that Dean didn't always agree with but Dean wouldn't tell Sam to stay away for good – even if Sam did have a habit of walking away.

A little bit of the hurt and anger Dean had felt during their argument back in the motel room flared up by the thought of his brother walking away, but it disappeared again as soon as Sam coughed in his sleep and squeezed Dean's hand. The older brother smiled wryly and shook the dark thoughts away. This wasn't the time or place to think about their issues.

"You just keep fighting, Sammy." Dean told his oblivious little brother and squeezed Sam's hand back.

**_ SPN _**

When Sam woke up the next time, he was more clear-headed than the first time around – which meant that Dean was able to have a _real_ conversation with his younger brother this time. Sam was still affected by the surgery he'd been through though and the pneumonia that had now, according to the doctor, definitely attacked Sam's body was also taking its toll on him.

Dean had just finished a long monologue about why classic cars were more awesome than modern cars, when Sam asked a question that took the older brother by surprise.

"Did you call Dad?" Sam asked before scrunching up his face and fidgeting a bit with the oxygen mask.

"Didn't I tell you to leave that thing alone?" Dean asked.

"It's annoying." Sam complained.

" _You're_ annoying." Dean retorted. "Leave it alone, Sam, or I'll tie your hands down. I'm not kidding!"

Sam sighed in annoyance and buried himself deeper into the covers of the hospital bed. He was freezing – despite the fact that sweat was literally running down his face. Sam's chest still ached which made it painful every time he tried to shift a bit on the bed, and it was also difficult for him to take in a deep enough breath. It scared Sam a bit to know that the oxygen mask was helping him breathe properly; if the mask was _already_ helping him, how much more difficult would it be to breathe completely on his own then?

"So did you?" Sam asked, hating that his voice got muffled by the oxygen mask every time he spoke.

"Did what?" Dean asked while flipping through a magazine with no real interest whatsoever.

"Call Dad?" Sam asked.

Dean closed the magazine and avoided Sam's look as he answered the question.

"No." Dean lied. "I was too busy hitting on the hot nurses. Besides, the doctor said he would fix you up in no time and I figured we would probably be long gone by the time Dad arrived anyway."

Sam nodded, coughed a little and turned his head to stare up at the ceiling.

"He probably wouldn't have come anyway." Sam said after a little while of silence.

"Of course he would, don't be stupid." Dean said and swallowed down the lump that had formed in his throat. Sam was right about their father; Dean had called him and John _hadn't_ shown up or even given the tiniest notice about anything. The oldest Winchester brother could throttle his dad for this – John Winchester should have been there. But Dean didn't want Sam to know about any of it so he kept quiet. What Sam didn't know about, couldn't hurt him.

"How are you doing by the way?" Dean asked to change the subject.

"About the same as last time you asked." Sam answered. "I'm cold."

"Still?" Dean asked incredulously. "I already gave you an extra blanket."

"Not helping." Sam said which made the older brother frown.

Dean drummed with his fingers on his knee while looking thoughtfully around for a few seconds. He then grabbed his leather jacket that had been tossed over the back of his chair before he gently spread it out on top of Sam's muffled up chest.

"It doesn't provide much warmth but it's better than nothing, right?" Dean said.

"Thanks Dean." Sam said with gratitude and Dean nodded.

"I'm gonna grab some coffee. Be right back." Dean then said and walked towards the door. He glanced back at Sam as he reached the door and smiled wryly when he saw Sam resting his cheek against the worn leather jacket. So what if it got a little sweat-soaked? If it made Sam happy, then Dean was happy as well.

"Don't drool on the jacket." Dean said as he opened the door. "Or you'll be the one to clean it!"

"Don't I _already_ do most of the laundry?" Sam complained.

"Yeah, and let's keep it that way, Samantha." Dean grinned – not missing the eye roll Sam gave him before he left the room.

**_ SPN _**

Despite the fact that Sam had only shown signs of improvement, the youngest Winchester brother got worse during the night. Sam's fever had suddenly spiked disturbingly much and Sam's already troubled breathing had become even more troubled. To make it all worse; the younger brother had also been vomiting, and puke just didn't go very well with difficulty in breathing _and_ an oxygen mask!

Doctors and nurses had taken care of Sam at first but Dean hadn't liked the lack of understanding some of the members of the hospital staff had shown when it came to find the right way to get his little brother through this. So, after a whole lot of quarrels, Loretta, Dr. Kendall and Dean had finally come to an agreement, and Dean had been the one to take care of Sam since then.

"That's it. It's over now." Dean assured his younger brother and removed the vomit bowl as Sam had ended yet another round of puking.

Sam was hunched over and gasping for air but Dean gently pulled him back against his chest, as he was sitting behind Sam on the hospital bed, and grabbed the oxygen mask beside him.

"I've got you." Dean said in a soft voice, having repeated this procedure several times during the night already.

With one hand placed on Sam's forehead to keep Sam situated and secured against him, Dean guided his other hand underneath Sam's left armpit and held the oxygen mask in place over his little brother's mouth and nose.

"Just breathe, Sammy." Dean said in a soft voice and watched as the oxygen mask fogged with every struggled breath Sam drew in and blew out. "You're doing well."

Sam weakly sunk his fingernails into his older brother's jeans – the nails bluish due to the lack of oxygen – and Dean's heart ached when a tear escaped Sam's clenched eyes.

"It's okay." Dean soothed although it was far from okay that Sam had to suffer this badly.

Sam then started coughing and Dean removed the oxygen mask long enough for Sam to spit up some phlegm, before he put the mask back in place – this time strapping it around Sam's head so that he could use his hand to gently rub at Sam's aching chest instead.

"Dean." Sam wheezed - heat radiating off the younger man's skin as his head came to a rest against Dean's neck.

"Not going anywhere." Dean promised and used another one of his Sammy-calming methods as he started humming ' _Hey Jude_ ' into his brother's ear.

Sam kept wheezing even as exhaustion pulled him under, and Dean continued to hum while carding a hand through Sam's sweaty hair.

When the night turned to day, Sam's fever finally broke and the younger brother rested more peacefully against Dean's chest.

"Well.." Loretta started, lowering her voice as Dean shushed her before continuing. "It seems like the antibiotics are finally doing their job."

"So he's good?" Dean asked in a low voice.

"Not yet." Loretta admitted. "But he's better."

Dean nodded and absent-mindedly stroked Sam's hair which made Loretta's eyes well up – touched by the sight in front of her.

"Dr. Kendall will check up on your brother soon." Loretta said before she left the room.

Dean shifted a little to get more comfortable against the headboard of the hospital bed and then pulled Sam closer as the younger brother mumbled in his sleep.

"I'm sorry for causing you all this pain, Sammy." Dean whispered, still feeling so incredible guilty for pushing his already hurting little brother in the chest.

The older Winchester brother promised himself to do a better job of protecting Sam when they were able to leave the hospital behind. Issues or not; Sam was still the most important person in Dean's life and Dean would be damned if he let anything happen to the kid!


	6. Chapter 6

Things always got worse before they got better and – after another day followed by another night of taking care of a sick and hurting little brother – Dean was relieved to see that Sam was finally getting better. The pneumonia was still present but beyond the life-threatening part so that wasn't the biggest concern at the moment; it was the still troubled breathing on Sam's part, despite the pneumonia, that was the main reason for the older brother's disquiet. The oxygen mask had been replaced by a nasal cannula that continued to assist Sam's breathing, but the younger Winchester brother was still wheezing and often struggled to take in a deep enough breath which was what worried Dean the most.

"It's perfectly normal." Dr. Kendall had told Dean when the older Winchester brother had shared his concerns with the man. "Your brother just needs time, that's all. Once the pneumonia will be fully gone from his system, Sam will start breathing more easily. But I'll still recommend he continues with the chest therapy for a while."

Dean had nodded while going through the instructions in his mind that Loretta had showed him on how to help Sam with his breathing exercises. Dean had listened very carefully and had taken mental notes on everything Loretta had explained to him, since he never let anything be left to chance when it came to his little brother.

"How much longer does he need the antibiotics?" Dean had then asked the doctor.

Dr. Kendall had smiled wryly, knowing that Dean had an almost frightening need to know _everything_ about the care and treatment the hospital provided in Sam's case – but not knowing that Dean also needed the information for a different reason. Dean needed to know exactly how the hospital wanted to further treat Sam because the older brother planned to take Sam away from the hospital as soon as possible before the insurance fraud would become an issue.

"Sam needs the antibiotics for at least another week." Dr. Kendall had answered. "Until the fever is completely gone and then a little while longer. But you don't need to worry about that – this hospital _does_ know how to care for the patients."

The doctor had then winked at Dean and the older Winchester brother had nodded once more while reminding himself to _borrow_ some extra antibiotics before leaving the hospital with Sam. Dean wondered exactly _when_ that would be since his younger brother still needed the extra oxygen. They couldn't keep staying at the hospital but Dean sure as hell wouldn't take Sam with him anywhere before he was pretty damn certain Sam didn't distress in the process.

Speaking of Sam, the younger brother was currently listening to one of Dean's stories about what had happened on a poltergeist hunt in Middlefield, Ohio, while Sam had been away at Stanford. It was supposed to be a funny story, if you judged by the chuckles Dean kept making while telling it, but Sam wasn't really listening to it. He had his head turned towards his brother and was watching Dean speak, but Sam's thoughts kept twirling around inside his head which made it difficult for him to concentrate on what Dean was saying. The fight he had had with his older brother, before Sam had collapsed back at the motel room, was still plaguing him tremendously but every time he'd tried to bring it up, Dean had brushed the subject aside with a " _We'll talk about it later._ " But Sam didn't want to talk about it later. He wanted to talk about it now. No matter how grateful he was for the fact that Dean hadn't left his side even once while he'd been hospitalized, Sam knew that behind Dean's protective big brother shield there was also a hurt big brother, a disappointed big brother – a big brother who couldn't understand why his little brother would walk away from him when it was supposed to be the two of them against the world. But that was why Sam needed to talk things through with said big brother because Dean had got it all wrong; Sam _hadn't_ walked out on Dean. Not really.

"Sam.. Sam?"

Sam blinked his thoughts away and realized that Dean was looking expectantly at him.

"Eh.." Sam said. Had Dean asked him a question?

"You're supposed to laugh when I tell you a funny story, man." Dean said, threw up his hands and sighed. "You're hopeless."

"Sorry." Sam said in a soft voice. "What was the funny part?"

"Doesn't matter." Dean said, leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms in front of his chest in an offended way that made Sam's lips twitch in amusement.

"And you call me the bitchy one." Sam commented before coughing a bit.

Dean glared at his younger brother for a short moment before his expression turned concerned as Sam took in some wheezing gulps of air. Sam was still too pale for Dean's liking – still looked way too fragile for a kid his size. The struggled breathing also reminded Dean of another time where Sam had sounded like that; the run-in with the Shriga that had almost cost Sam his life because Dean had made a stupid mistake. Sam luckily didn't remember any of it but Dean could never forget how close he'd come to lose his little brother – how close he'd come to lose Sammy, all because he hadn't followed his father's orders.

"You alright?" Dean asked, readjusted the nose cannula as his brother leaned back against the pillow and closed his eyes for a brief moment.

"I'm fine." Sam said and weakly swatted Dean's hands away before sighing. "I can't believe this all happened because of a broken rib."

"Well.. the push to your chest didn't exactly help." Dean remarked as guilt seeped in once again. He then regretted saying anything when Sam gave him one of those looks that meant that the kid had something on his heart.

"Are we ever gonna talk about it?" Sam wanted to know and Dean mentally kicked himself for bringing the subject up in the first place.

"About what?" Dean asked.

"You know what." Sam said and shot Dean a knowing look.

"Look, Sam.." Dean began when he was cut off by his ringing cell phone. _Saved by the bell._

He quickly fished out the phone from his pocket and glanced at the #ID saying 'unknown'.

"Who is it?" Sam asked.

"I don't know." Dean said with a shrug of his shoulders before answering the phone. "Yeah?"

" _Dean._ " The voice on the other end of the line said and Dean immediately recognized it.

"Hold on." Dean said, put the phone down and glanced at Sam. "I'm gonna take this outside."

"Why?" Sam wanted to know and wrinkled his forehead in confusion.

"Booty call." Dean smirked and wiggled his eyebrows at his younger brother before leaving the room.

As soon as Dean had closed the door behind him, the smirk on his face dissolved and he quickly put the phone back to his ear.

"Dad?" Dean asked.

" _Yeah Dean, it's me._ " John Winchester said and Dean let out a relieved sigh. " _How's Sammy?_ "

"He's hanging in there." Dean said. "Dad, what happened? Why haven't you returned my calls?"

" _It's.. complicated_." John said.

"Alright, you can tell me all about it when you get here. Sam is.." Dean started when his father cut him off.

" _I'm not coming, Dean._ " John said.

"What? Why not?" Dean wanted to know – his heart beating faster as anger started building up.

" _Look son, I'm onto something here. The demon that killed your mother.._ " John began.

"The _demon_? Dad, Sam just went through surgery! He also has pneumonia and he's still struggling to breathe properly!" Dean shouted and then lowered his voice a tad as one of the nurses sent him a firm look. "You're supposed to be here, Dad.. You should have been here days ago!"

" _Watch your tone with me_." John warned from the other end of the line. " _You know I would have been there if I could, but this is important._ "

"More important than Sam?" Dean asked.

" _I am doing this for Sammy_ _and_ _for you, Dean! This is the thing I've been searching for, for the past twenty-two years, and I'd be damned if I let it escape now!_ " John barked and Dean pinched the bridge of his nose. " _I told you boys to stop looking for me and I can't meet up with you either. It's not safe. I'm protecting you this way."_

Dean remained silent while John let out a sigh.

" _Look, I know you're making sure nothing happens to your brother."_ His father continued. _"I trust you to take care of him._ "

"Always have done, always will." Dean said, feeling a wave of sadness wash over him by the verity of that statement. Their father had missed out on so many precious moments in Sam's life.

" _Good. Tell Sammy that.. that I'm sorry, okay?_ " John said. " _Bye Dean._ "

The oldest Winchester hung up the phone with a _click_ and Dean slowly lowered his cell phone from his ear. He closed his eyes, leaned back against the door for a moment while counting to ten inside his head – not wanting security to kick him out for punching something in anger and frustration. Dean _understood_ why their father couldn't be there, he really did… but that didn't mean that he could also _accept_ it. Sam sure as hell wouldn't understand, and Dean decided it was probably for the best if he kept his brother out of this. At least for now.

Dean opened his eyes back up, put the cell phone into his pocket and put on his game face again. It was time to get back to his brother.

"Sorry for taking so long." Dean said as he walked back into Sam's room. "Girls, you know. They can never let me.."

Dean then paused as he realized Sam was no longer situated in the hospital bed – nasal cannula and IV-lines left behind – and the older brother's heart started hammering inside his chest as he was hit by a moment of panic. Where the hell was Sam?

"Sammy?" Dean called, stepping all the way into the room and then spun around as a panting sound reached his ears. "Sam!"

Dean kneeled down next to his little brother who was currently sitting on the floor behind the door – hunched over and gasping for air.

"What happened?" Dean asked while gently pushing Sam back against the wall.

"H-heard… you and… Dad.." Sam wheezed out between quick and shallow breaths, and Dean sighed as he now realized why Sam had gotten so upset that his troubled breathing had become even more troubled.

"You're a big idiot, Sammy." Dean said with no real heat behind the words and a shake of his head, knowing without a doubt that if Sam had been eavesdropping to the conversation Dean had just had with their father – even though Sam had only been able to hear Dean's side of the conversation - it was no wonder that the kid had gotten distressed.

Dean then lightly tapped Sam's chest and his back as well to loosen the mucus in his brother's lungs and hopefully improve the breathing. "You know the drill. Come on, deep breaths."

Sam closed his eyes, fisted Dean's shirt with his hands and focused on his breathing; deep and slow breaths.

"Now cough." Dean ordered and Sam did as he was told.

The younger Winchester brother coughed up some phlegm and Dean let out a sigh of relief as Sam's breathing immediately improved.

"Come on." Dean said, gently pulling Sam to his feet and guiding him back to the hospital bed.

Once Sam was back under the covers, Dean put the nasal cannula back in place and did the same thing with the IV-lines that Sam had – not so gently – ripped out to be able to listen to Dean's conversation. Looking back on it all now, Dean should have known to walk further away than just outside the room.

"You shouldn't have left the bed, you moron." Dean said and watched as Sam curled up on his side.

"You lied to me." Sam said and shot Dean a hurt look. "You said you didn't call Dad."

"I just didn't want you to worry, okay?" Dean said. "Listen, Dad wanted to be here okay? But he's after the demon that killed Mom and Jess and.. he told me to tell you he's sorry."

"I doubt it." Sam huffed.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Dean wanted to know.

"Just forget about it, okay?" Sam said and turned his back against his older brother.

"Sam, I know you and Dad have your differences, alright?" Dean said. "But Dad _would_ have been here if he could."

"Yeah.. Whatever." Sam said.

Dean sat down in the chair next to Sam's bedside and washed his hands up and down his face a couple of times, suddenly feeling so damn tired. The older Winchester brother was sick of always defending an absent father to a disappointed little brother – especially when he was pissed off at his dad for making Sam feel this way over and over. And that was even though Sam _was_ being unreasonable sometimes - the stubborn little shit (that stopped being so little along the way.)

"Well.. I'm here." Dean then said. "And I'm not going anywhere. You hear me?"

Sam didn't answer or turn back around but Dean noticed that the younger man's before so tense shoulders loosened up a bit.

"So stop sulking, princess." Dean added and then smiled wryly as Sam retorted a bunch of curse words that made the big brother quite proud.

**_ SPN _**

As soon as Sam was taken off the extra oxygen, Dean decided it was time for the two of them to hit the road. So, when Dr. Kendall's shift was over and Loretta was heading home as well, Dean brought some clothes for his brother and went on a mission to find some antibiotics while Sam changed into the clothes.

"Bingo." He mumbled after picking the lock on one of the medicine cabinets, grabbed some bottles of antibiotics and stuffed them in his pocket before walking back to his brother's room.

Sam was sitting on the edge of the hospital bed and had just managed to pull a hoodie over his head – his arms still trapped inside it and his floppy hair sticking out in all directions – when Dean entered the room.

"Come on, Sammy. We gotta go." Dean rushed while glancing at his watch.

"Just give me a second." Sam said, groaning a bit as he stuck his arms out of the hoodie since the movements pulled at his still aching chest.

Dean crossed the room, snatched Sam's socks from the bed before he crouched down in front of the younger brother and expertly started pulling the socks over Sam's bare feet.

"What are you doing?" Sam sighed tiredly.

"Painting your toenails, sunshine." Dean said which earned him a glare from Sam. "What does it look like I'm doing?"

"Dean, I'm twenty-two." Sam said as Dean put shoes on him as well.

"Yeah, I know how old you are, Sam. Now shut up and stop kicking me!" Dean said.

When they were all set to go, and Dean had won the argument about whether or not Sam was going to leave the hospital in a wheel chair, the older brother wheeled Sam down the corridors towards the exit while trying not to attract any attention to the two of them. It was all going pretty well and the exit was in sight when a familiar voice suddenly spoke up.

"Where do you think you're going?"

Dean stopped up and turned around to face Loretta. Judging from the jacket she was wearing and the purse on her shoulder, Dean guessed that her shift had drawn out and she was only _now_ ready to go home. The nurse looked anything but happy as she pinned Dean with her stare; her hands on her hips and a judging look on her face.

"Eh.. We're just.." Dean started when Loretta cut him off.

"I'm very disappointed in you two for leaving this hospital.." Loretta said and paused for a second before continuing. ".. without even saying goodbye."

Her features then loosened up and she sent both brothers a warm smile. Dean blinked in surprise and then glanced at Sam, who looked equally as puzzled and confused as his brother, before he looked at Loretta again.

"Oh don't look so surprised." The nurse said with a chuckle. "Now go on, I haven't seen anything."

"Thank you." Sam said and gave Loretta a soft smile.

"For what? I have no idea what you're talking about." Loretta said and then winked.

Dean nodded his thanks to the nurse as well – sending her a grateful look, before wheeling Sam out of the hospital and across the parking lot to the Impala. The younger Winchester brother groaned as he moved from the wheel chair to the passenger seat of the car, but sighed in comfort as he buried down in the worn leather seats and closed his eyes. _Home._

"Thanks." He mumbled as Dean tossed a blanket over him, closed the door and walked around the car before getting behind the wheel.

"Have you missed me, baby?" Dean asked and patted the dashboard in a gentle which made Sam quirk an eyebrow.

"You have a very unhealthy relationship with your car, you know that?" Sam asked.

"Don't listen to him, baby. He's just jealous." Dean smirked and Sam rolled his eyes.

The older brother turned the keys in the ignition – his smirk widening as the engine roared alive. Dean then made sure Sam was safe and sound next to him before he steered them both out of the parking lot, away from the hospital and back on the road.


	7. Chapter 7

Dean parked the Impala as close to the motel room as possible before he shut off the engine and peeked at his little brother who had dozed off as soon as they'd hit the highway. Sam's face was still pale and his breathing ragged, but Dean hoped some days on bed rest under big brother's watching eye would do wonders for the younger Winchester brother.

"Sam." Dean said and lightly patted Sam's shoulder.

Sam's eyes snapped open and he shifted a bit on the seat – then winced and softly groaned as the action of it jarred his chest.

"Easy." Dean soothed. "We're here."

Dean nodded towards the motel room and Sam turned sleepy eyes in that direction to see where 'here' was.

"You good?" Dean asked, watching with a hint of worry as Sam slowly nodded.

Dean hoped that the reason why Sam was being quiet was because the younger brother was tired and not because he was in too much pain to talk. Dean knew it was risky taking Sam out of the hospital before the doctor had given him the green light, but Dean was confident he could provide Sam with the care he needed to get back on his feet. Taking care of Sam had always been as normal for Dean as putting on clean socks in the morning (although Dean didn't necessarily put on clean socks _every_ morning) and he would continue to take care of his little brother no matter how old the kid got – and no matter how often Sam walked away.

The older Winchester brother buried the thoughts about Sam leaving for this time being, opened up the squeaky car door and went around the Impala to Sam's side of the car. His younger brother had managed to open up the door and was struggling to get out by the time Dean reached him - then looked up at his big brother with a despondent look on his pale face. Dean didn't need any verbal requests from Sam to understand what his brother needed, nor did he ask any questions before he hooked his arms under Sam's armpits and pulled the younger man to his feet. Sam let out a soft groan and Dean carefully dragged Sam's arm over his shoulder – his other arm wrapped around Sam's midsection – before eyeing his brother to look for any signs of distress.

"You.." Dean started when Sam cut him off.

"I'm _fine_ , Dean." Sam said and sighed tiredly.

"Yeah, you look fine." Dean snorted with sarcasm as they started moving towards the motel room. "Tell me Sammy; would you describe that facial color as 'eggshell' or 'ivory'..?"

"Bite me." Sam muttered.

"Ouch, they teach you to talk like that on Stanford?" Dean asked.

"Actually, I learned that from my big brother." Sam said with a wry smile.

"Oh really? Sounds like a handsome fellow that one." Dean smirked, turned the key in the lock of the motel room door and pushed it open with his shoulder before leading Sam inside.

The younger brother was panting by the time they reached the bed farthest away from the door and Sam coughed a little as he sat down on the edge of it.

"Stay put, I'll go get the bags." Dean said and walked back outside to the car.

Sam removed his shoes and hoodie with a little bit of effort but felt good for being able to do it on his own before Dean returned – even if his chest was still sore from the surgery he'd gone through and the pneumonia that was slightly improving every day. By the time Dean returned to the motel room with the duffle bags, Sam leaned back against the pillow and let out a content sigh.

"I'm gonna take a shower." Dean said as he rummaged through his duffle. "You need anything before I go?"

"No." Sam answered, his eyes already closing but snapping open as Dean pulled out the covers from underneath him and draped them over the younger brother. "Dude, I can do that myself!"

"Shut up Sam, and go to sleep." Dean said, making sure the covers were tucked properly in around Sam before he turned around and walked towards the bathroom.

Sam followed Dean with his eyes and blinked a few times at the closing bathroom door before his eyelids started to droop again. His lip twitched a bit as he heard the running water in the bathroom and the unmistakably sound of Dean whistling in the shower, and it didn't take long before the familiar sound lulled him to sleep.

**_ SPN _**

Spending three days in a motel room bed with his brother constantly nursing and hovering around him, turned out to be too much for Sam. Dean Winchester had always been overprotective when it came to taking care of his little brother – especially a hurt or sick little brother – and it got even worse when Dean was on a guilt trip. He'd somehow decided that Sam ending up at the hospital was _his_ fault and the constant need Dean had to do everything for Sam was driving the younger man crazy!

"Dean, stop. Stop it, dammit!" Sam exclaimed when Dean was fluffing Sam's pillow for the third time that day. "Enough already!"

"What's your problem?" Dean asked with a hint of irritation in his voice.

"You!" Sam said and pushed himself off the bed despite Dean's protests. " _You_ are my problem!"

"Oh, so that's the thanks I get for taking care of your sorry ass?" Dean said with anger smoldering just underneath the surface.

"I know and I'm grateful for it, but Dean you're smothering me! I can't take it anymore." Sam said with frustration and washed a hand down his face. "I need to get out of here and get some air."

"So you're leaving again? After everything?" Dean asked and shook his head. "Unbelievable.. You ungrateful little bastard."

Sam's brows furrowed and he looked at Dean with confusion.

"What are you talking about?" Sam wanted to know, having no other intention than to just spend a _few_ minutes outside _without_ his brother asking him if he was fine or in pain or needed an extra blanket.

"You walking away!" Dean shouted, picking up the reason why they'd been fighting in the first place - before Sam's hospital stay. "You _always_ walk away! You want me to mention the occasions again?"

"Why are you bringing this up now?" Sam wanted to know.

"Well _you_ were the one who wanted to talk about it, so talk!" Dean demanded with anger written all over his face before throwing Sam's pillow through the room. "Tell me what's so important that you have to leave your family over and over. Tell me, Sam!"

The older brother had grasped the collar of Sam's shirt with his hands and his angry face was now only inches away from Sam's face.

"Dean." Sam said in a much calmer tone than the one Dean was using on him right now – taking his big brother's anger for what it really was; hurt. "I ran off to Flagstaff because I was sick of the way Dad treated me, okay? I was sick of the fact that we could never agree on things, that I was being the bad son for wanting different things in life. I ran away from Dad, not you."

Dean stilled looked angry but didn't interrupt, so Sam continued.

"You know why I left for Stanford. I didn't mean to walk out on either one of you, but.. I just wanted to go to school, Dean. Is that too much to ask for?" Sam asked.

"You walked away in Indiana." Dean said, no longer shouting but still with a hard look on his face. "You can't blame that one on Dad or school."

"You wanted to do the hunt, I wanted to find Dad." Sam said with a shrug of his shoulders. "But I did come back."

Dean huffed in disbelief and let his younger brother go before stepping a bit away. Sam shook his head, glanced out of the motel room window and let out a sigh.

"You wanna know what _really_ happened back in Indiana?" Sam asked without looking at Dean.

"What do you mean?" Dean wanted to know.

"I wasn't the one who left, Dean." Sam said and finally turned his head to meet his brother's eyes again. " _You_ were."

"Okay, now you're not making any sense." Dean said. "You grabbed your bag from the car and took off."

"I didn't start walking until you drove off." Sam said.

"Well you did tell me you _wanted_ me to take off!" Dean exclaimed.

"And you _believed_ that?" Sam asked which made Dean look at him in surprise. "Dean, I didn't believe you would actually leave me there, I.. I watched you drive away and I kept expecting you to turn the car around and come back for me. But you didn't."

"You thought I'd come back?" Dean asked incredulously.

"Yeah." Sam said before they both fell silent – just staring at each other.

Sam swallowed against the emotion that was suddenly clogging his throat and blinked a few times as he felt the familiar sting of tears in his eyes.

"I admit that I've walked away a lot of times in my life, Dean." Sam said, breaking the silence with a shaky voice. "But I always come back, okay?"

"Okay." Dean said and nodded - anger no longer present.

He could easily spot the tears in his little brother's eyes and the sight of it pulled at his heart strings. He'd been too hard on Sam. Way too hard. Sam hadn't walked away from Dean in Indiana – he'd ended up with no other choice than to walk away since Dean had been too blind to see that Sam hadn't wanted them to part ways; that Sam had wanted Dean to stay - despite what the younger brother had said at the time. And Dean should have known that because he knew the kid better than anyone else in the entire world.

"I'm sorry I pushed you." Dean then said and a guilty look settled on his face.

"Don't.." Sam started when Dean cut him off.

"It's my fault you ended up at that hospital, okay?" Dean said. "I should have realized you were hurt, and if I hadn't pushed you then maybe.."

"Maybe what, Dean?" Sam asked, this time being the one to cut off the other brother. "If anyone's to blame, it's that scarecrow for throwing me into a tree! You couldn't have done anything about it, so stop beating yourself up and get over it, okay?"

Before Dean could protest any further, Sam suddenly took in a troubled breath and blindly grasped the air to find something to grab in support as dizziness appeared and made black spots dance in front of his eyes. Dean was by his side in an instant and held on to Sam while the wave of dizziness slowly dissolved.

"Sammy? Sammy? You alright." Dean asked with concern and quickly guided Sam back to bed before sitting him down on the edge of it. "Talk to me!"

"I'm alright. Just a bit dizzy." Sam said, grasping his chest with one hand and leaning forward a bit – head between his knees.

"Okay, that's it! You're staying in bed until I tell you when you're ready to leave it, got it?" Dean asked from his crouched position in front of Sam - although it was clear to Sam that it was no question.

Sam nodded and Dean got up from his crouching position, manhandled his little brother back to bed before he left – only to return a few seconds later with Sam's pillow in hand. The younger Winchester brother was too drained of energy to complain when Dean fluffed the pillow a few times and placed it underneath Sam's head, neither did he protest when Dean gently tucked him in.

"Get some rest, Sasquatch." Dean said and was about to walk away when Sam grabbed his wrist.

"Dean." Sam said.

"Yeah, Sammy?" Dean asked.

"Are we good?" Sam wanted to know.

"We're good." Dean promised and confirmed his words by sending Sam a wry smile. "I mean it this time."

"Good." Sam said, returning the smile. "Cause I'm too tired to kick your ass today."

" _Please_." Dean snorted. "Like that could ever happen."

"You're just jealous because I'm the tall one." Sam said around a yawn.

"Yeah? Well I'm the handsome one and seriously Sam; who do you think the ladies prefer the most?" Dean asked and then winked before he flopped down on his own bed, grabbed the remote and turned on the TV while waiting for his brother to throw an insult back at him. "What? No great come-back, Sammy?"

When Sam didn't answer, Dean turned his head to look at Sam – only to discover that Sam's eyes were closed and his breath evened out in sleep.

"Yeah, I would have fallen asleep too if I couldn't come up with a great come-back." Dean said to himself with amusement, dropped the remote to the mattress and folded his hands behind his neck before leaning back against the headboard with a content smile. Sam would be alright.

**_ SPN _**

Five miles away, at the ER section of the hospital, Loretta was getting ready for her shift. The hospital staff had been very dismayed when they'd discovered that the kid, who'd been brought in with Hemopneumothorax, and his protective big brother had disappeared without anyone noticing.

Loretta smiled as she recalled her last meeting with the two brothers; how surprised and grateful they'd both been when she'd let them go without any questions asked. The nurse knew that there would be trouble did anyone ever find out what she had done, but she simple couldn't find it in her heart to care. The brothers had needed someone to look after them and Loretta had found it more than natural to help out those two sweethearts as much as she could. She just wished they were both alright – wherever they were now.

Loretta blinked against the emotion in her eyes and chuckled a bit at her own sentimentality before she took seat behind the information desk – ready for a new hectic night to begin – when the phone in front of her started ringing. She picked up the phone, introduced herself and the hospital and waited to hear how she could assist the person on the other end of the line.

"Oh, it's you again sir." Loretta greeted when the person introduced himself, then looked a bit from side to side and lowered her voice. "Well, it's been three days and they're still not back here so I'm gonna assume that everything is alright with Sam."

" _Good, just checking._ " The male voice said. " _This is the last time I'm calling so I just wanna thank you for informing me about the boys._ "

"Well, you _have_ been calling every single day those boys were here so it's the least I could do." Loretta said and hesitated a bit before continuing. "Look, I.. I still don't understand why you didn't want me to just give them a message or something to let them know that you'd been worried about Sam from day one."

" _I have my reasons. Thanks again._ " The person said and Loretta put the phone down as the line was disconnected.

She sighed and sent a thought to Dean and Sam before she looked at the guy on the other side of the desk who was trying to get her attention.

"I need some help." The guy said.

"Oh, everyone here does honey." Loretta said and put down a chart in front of him. "Fill out these forms."

In another part of the country, John Winchester stepped out of the phone booth he'd just used and smiled to himself. Now that he was sure Sam was out of the hospital, safe and sound with Dean looking after him, he could refocus on tracking down the demon that had killed his wife and left his boys without a mother.

                                                                                                                                                                                                  
  
**THE END**


End file.
